Susan Drysdale, PhD

Caregiver Stress

Many of us are trying to cope with our own problems when suddenly we find ourselves in the role of caregiver to another. Perhaps we are now responsible for a spouse, a parent, a sibling, or sometimes even an adult child. We did not expect to be taking care of someone else. We are not sure how to navigate the waters. We are not sure how to handle our own problems along with the problems of someone else.

We are trying to balance it all out for the sake of the other as well as for ourselves. If we do not get the support we need, stress can leave us vulnerable to burnout. If things get bad enough, we will not be able to help the one we love. Signs of caregiver stress are anxiety, depression, irritability, insomnia, fatigue, resentment, impatience, and eating or drinking too much.

We need to find ways to lighten the load. We need to invest in other activities besides caregiving. Perhaps we can look into respite care. Perhaps we can ask friends and relatives to help while we give ourselves permission to take time off. We need to feel empowered by focusing on what we can control and concentrating on how we react to problems. We need to feel appreciated, which can be done by imagining how the loved one would react if he or she could, or by speaking to a supportive friend or relative. We need to let others know what they can do to help out. We need to take care of our own health by eating right, exercising, sleeping enough, and finding time to relax.

Perhaps finding a support group or talking to a professional would be helpful. Sometimes we need a neutral third party to help us prioritize what needs to be done and figure out how to move forward.